Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Life on the Funny Farm

I think it is time for some Aud stories.

The Crepe Myrtle "Bushes"

These 2 "bushes" were planted about 5 years ago. I like crepe myrtle bushes, but I love them in tree form if they are graceful. I came home from work one day to find two fat little crepe myrtle bushes planted 18 inches from the side of the house and directly over the sprinkler system. So, the following year in spring when it was time to "prune" them, I decided they really needed to be trees and pruned them accordingly. I don't cut them down like most people do, I just trim the "suckers". I did a bang up job of trimming, and was informed by a furious Aud that she intended for them to be bushes to hide the side of the house because it looked like there was a crack started in the brick. Sorry about that.

Well, have I paid for that mistake. Up until this year they have scraped, and moaned and groaned every time the wind blows and that is often in this part of the world. So far, they have been propped up three times, are top heavy, lol, and really need to be cut down probably and every time they bloom I hear the ...I just wanted bushes.....whining. At times over the years they have awakened me in the middle of the night, due to the wind whipping them against the house. And this may be part of the reason our house is haunted.

Yes, haunted.

Ant Attack
For a while about a month ago, we had lots and lots of rain. As a result we had some little black ants come to see us for a visit. Actually, I think they came in on some grapes or something similar, don't remember now. Anyway, they were around the sink and found the honey that was up in a cabinet and some of them drowned in that. We have the house exterminated every 4 months, and it had only been about a month since he had been here, so we call him to come check it out. He put down 3 pieces of what appeared to be 3 sided plastic around the sink area along the backsplsh and told us they would be gone in a day. And, lo and behold, they were. We did leave the little plastic pieces on the countertop however. We are fortunate to have a lady clean for us every 2 weeks and I do remember them being there after she cleaned the Monday following the planting of the plastic. After that I never paid any attention due to one thing and another.
Last night Aud informs me that she has decided why we have been feeling so bad lately. Why is that? .....We have been poisened by ant poisen.....what on earth are you talking about?. I do seem to be saying that a lot lately.....well, remember the little blue plastic thingies?...yes....well, have you seen them lately?, why?....... well, they were in the silverware drainer part of the dish are kidding, right?, so we have been eating ant poisen everytime we use the ice cream scoop or the knife.......they are there no longer, and we are feeling to whether we really did have some ant poisen, who knows, but that might explain some of the wierd behavior going on around here lately, lol.
Harmone Trouble
Actually, today Aud decided it is her lack of harmones that is making her so grumpy and feeling so badly. They took them away from her when she was in the hospital about 2 months ago with a blood clot. And of course she has had hot flashes, and all of the thing associated with lack of harmones until her doctor gave her "whatever it was" and told her it would do the trick and didn't have estrogen in it. And, she is out of this drug and has been for 2 days and is grumpy as a bear in springtime. ....I have to go to the doctor...make an appointment....what do you need...and she tells me all about the harmones....just call the pharmacy and tell them to contact the doctor and he will send in a prescription....didn't think about that....
I hear her on the phone and she is laughing, and then she comes in and tells me that the pharmacist says those aren't harmones. I think we will be going to see her doc soon.
The House is Haunted

I think it was last week when Aud decided the house was haunted. This clock hangs in Aud's room, and she has had it forever. It chimes the hours during the day, and is silent at night. It quit working about 2 years ago, and even though the batteries in it were changed, it has never worked since until in the middle of the night a couple of weeks ago. All of a sudden, it started chiming...the wrong hour and not on the hour, but it is chiming. Perry, are you sure you didn't fix this clock? No, I didn't touch it....well, it is chiming, of course it is the wrong time, but it is chiming. Well, mother, too bad...I did not touch it. Since it has started working again, Aud swears that every other day or so, she sees the minute hand move backward, and the clock starts chiming a different hour than it was. So we have a haunted clock. Actually, we have two of them.

This clock is also a chimer, but it chimes every hour day and night. It seems to be softer at night however. About a year ago it decided to move up its time by an hour. This was not due to daylight savings time, it just moved up one day, and then about 2 months later moved up another hour. I got it down, and reset the time. I have now done that twice this year, and it is up to 2 hours ahead again. Unreal, and neither of us knows why.

We also hear people talking through the floor vents after we go to bed at night, at least it sounds like it. They sure throw a lot of parties.

Who's to Blame?

When things like this happen, Aud usually blames Dolly Parton, the Bijon Frese (sp?) dog she had that passed away before we moved up here, or my husband, who also passed away before we moved up here. And since I had him cremated and he is in the house with us up here, she may be right, lol.

I can't tell you where I keep him in the house, because my oldest daughter does believe in ghosts and she doesn't want to know, and sometimes she reads my blog. Please don't harass me about this, it is a choice I have made. When I pass on, I want him around so I will bury him with me. Since I know where he is, I don't have to worry if I want to move to another town or state, right? I can still visit with him.

Well, I guess that is enough "stuff" for one night. If you hung around this long, you must be taking a nap by now. One of these days I will post about the animal residents we have had in the time we have lived here. That was definitely a "funny farm" experience.

Hope this week is going well for everyone. This is hump Wednesday, so hang in there!

Hugs to all!


Anonymous said...

Oh Peri, don't quit telling us your stories. I love them! That is so weird you talked about the ashes because I was thinking that very same thing today if I was in that situation, what I would do with them? Yes, I do believe in ghosts and I love hearing all that stuff even though it freaks me out. All I'm working on is a BOM called Belle Meade. Lots of half square triangles but I like making them because you don't have to think. Later, Nancy in WI

Penny said...

Ahem. Those Crepe Myrtles have got to go, Sweetie. They'll ruin your foundation and mess up your roof. They are way too big for that area. And candidly, they ain't looking so hot! :)

I believe in ghosts.

Love your stories. I wish I had had your sense of humor in dealing with my own mom. I was cranky with her!

Stephanie D. said...

Maybe you could just cut them way down and then they'd send out shoots closer to the base of the "tree". I have one in the middle of my yard that got top heavy and broke off some big branches after an ice storm and that's exactly what's happened here. It's becoming bushy again.

I plan to prune the taller branches down so it won't break off again.

As for the clocks--well, I'll send you the one I just bought at an estate sale. It was working, sort of, when I bought it, and when I put new batteries in it, the hour hand ran round and round and stopped. I changed out the batteries again, but now it doesn't move at all. If I knew how to change clock mechanisms I'd do it, because it's a nice-looking clock for the back porch.

G'G'ma said...

Hope you haven't eaten any more poison!! My husband hears people walking at night and gets up to check it out. I think that he is hearing the 4 legged creatures that are out at night jumping from the trees to the roof. At least none of them are in the house messing with the clocks!

Libby said...

Life on the Funny Farm sounds like a hoot *s*

Red Geranium Cottage said...

You two need a caretaker. I'm free and I'm cheap!! :-) Ok I'm not free but I am cheap. lololol
Those are some funny stories.
I can not believe you might have been poisoned by ant poison. That is bad. You two best be careful over there. Your dangerous together you know.